Running Envy

So I’ve not been able to run for over six weeks now. I’m not going to be able to complete the marathon I was training for. I have some pain in my knee whenever I walk more than a short distance. If I’m lucky, I’ll be able to run again in three weeks time. Yet I hear no violins.  And my doctor had no sympathy.

Oh wait, if I’m lucky? Time for a bit of perspective and reflection I think. I’ve got running envy because of a medial collateral ligament tear which has had me limping around for a number of weeks. And now each time I see a runner pass by in the Spring sunshine I feel a little jealous. For the first seven weeks of the 2015 I put some effort into training and built up to a very comfortable 12 miles at 9:30 pace by mid-February (I was coming from a slow and very overweight ‘starting’ point.) It all looked good with a view to running 26.2 miles at the beginning of July but over the last week or two I’ve started to realise how much fitness I’ve lost since then (and how many pounds I’ve gained in its place). I’ve also started feeling sorry for myself. And that’s led to me feeling a little disgusted that it even crossed my mind that I was or am unlucky.

First, the perspective bit. In the grand scheme of things there are people who are far worst off than me. People without the health or ability to even contemplate being able to run, maybe not even able to walk at all. No further comment required. I should have taken heed of my previous post.

Now the reflection bit. I wasn’t even unlucky in getting injured. Stupid but not unlucky. You see I did it ‘diving’ forward to take a magnificent catch as a ball fell towards Earth a couple of metres in front of me. Only I didn’t really dive – it was more like a slow motion collapsing action. And I didn’t quite manage to catch the ball. Furthermore, contrary to my mindset at the time, I wasn’t playing in the field for England against Australia, attempting a catch to bring glory back to English cricket. I was playing catch with my five year-old daughter. ‘That was silly, Daddy,’ she said, not even slightly amused. Had her father’s almost 45 years on this planet not taught him anything, not least about the ageing process?

My running envy is inexcusable. My ‘silliness’ is frustrating.  So no more envy, and time to get on with being injured, returning to fitness and learning a lesson about my middle-aged body. And knowing how lucky I really am.

No diving safety sign
No diving – especially onto the floor!


It’s been far too long since this blog was last updated. Failed ambitions, laziness, lost fitness, injuries and the daily grind have resulted in neglect of my running, and any desire to write about it! In response to those who have asked me to start posting again,  I’m hoping to return to regular ramblings as I regain fitness and dodge the bullets of my own stupidity!


3 thoughts on “Running Envy

  1. As a runner who has had her fair share of injuries in the past 12 months I share your pain and frustration but you will get there and there’s always the next marsthon to aim for. 9:30 miles is something I only dream about right now! Great blog. Xx

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